Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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