I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
