I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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