Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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