Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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