i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
