Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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