I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
When are your genitals available?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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