I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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