he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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