good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
