if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
