Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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