My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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