when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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