i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
why didn't you poke me back
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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