I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize