I heard we made out
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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