It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize