people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
