who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
