I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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