Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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