The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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