How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
