just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize