if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
