With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
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Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
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Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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