For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Randomize
