I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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