He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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