she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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