She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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