about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
