omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize