A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
