I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
areolas are like halos for boobs.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
