Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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