3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i drank out of a bidet.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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