bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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