my vag is so smooth its legendary
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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