I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
