i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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