I will die if light touches me.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
