she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
