so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Randomize
