I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
