im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
