note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
