Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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