I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
