How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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