Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
