My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize