well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
