I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Be still, my beating vagina.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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