that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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