On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
